Did I Land in BIzarro America?

When did Bill O'Reilly start making sense? I mean, yeah, his column was more than a little self-serving (See: Falafel), but there's not really much there that I'd have a problem with. So what I'm gonna do is, I'm going to go back over to Ireland for, say, about a week or so, and when I come back, everything better be back to the way it was. Or else, I'll just have to keep going back to Ireland until we get it right. Yeah, that sounds good to me. Mahalo.

Back-diddly-ack in the USA

What an amazing week I just had. I really wish I could break the whole thing down here, but the truth is, you just can't pack a month into five days like that and expect to be anywhere near coherent about it. Suffice it to say, it's nothing a couple of good night's sleep, plus a blood transfusion, wont help. More after the holiday, and Happy Thanksgiving everyone.

Try to Soldier On Without me...

No blogging for the next week or so. I'll be in Ireland, and most likely far too drunk to type at any given moment. I'll be thinking of you all, and I apologize in advance if I start an international incident.

You Have GOT To Be Shitting Me

Indiana's got a lot of time on its hands these days, it seems. Or at least its religious groups do. Then again, I giggle like a five year old anytime I hear the phrase "Back Door Draft."

"Major Combat Operations Are Over..."

Um, except for this one.

Why Does Bob Jones Hate America?

Apparently, that unaccredited college down south, Bob Jones University, feels a one-party government where everyone has to follow the same agenda and no dissenting voice deserves a say is preferable to Democracy. Oh, and their leader doesn't think America deserves salvation. I wonder when they're moving their campus out of the country?

Zell Miller: Elder Statesman

You know, there's almost something endearing to Senator Miller's cranky little rants. I'm not a huge fan of Maureen Dowd personally, I think she's a little too pleased with herself, but isn't "hussy" a synonym for "slut?"

New Book Recomendation

Barry Crimmins is considered by many in Boston, and outside, to be the guy who helped launch the careers of some of your favorite comedians. Steven Wright and Bobcat Goldthwait, among many others, consider Barry to be their comedy daddy. He's also an outspoken activist, contributor to NPR, the Boston Phoenix, and Air America Radio, among his many other projects. He's curmodgeonly, gruff, does not suffer fools gladly, and by the way. he's very very funny. He's also one of the warmest, most caring guys on the planet underneath all that, and now he's got his very own book out, called "Never Shake Hands with a War Criminal." You should go get it. Now. I'll wait.

No Golden Parachutes For These Folks

According to this article in the WSJ, companies are now trying to save money by cutting health benefits for retirees, even those who've collectively bargained for them. Their method? Sue the poor bastards. And from the looks of it, they're picking specific people, mostly those who've been involved in union organizing, or have had any beefs with the company in the past. Good lord. Why there aren't armed insurgents walking the streets of this country amazes me sometimes.

There He (Drudge) Goes Again...

Headline on Drudge's website: "Farenheit 9/11 Knocked out of Golden Globes."

Wow, sounds pretty controversial, huh? Someone out there reading that headline would think "Well, they're finally standing up to the Liberal Elite in this country. Kudos to the Foreign Press for having the decency to put Michael Moore in his place."

So go read the story here. Turns out, they don't give awards out to ANY documentaries, and didn't want to change their precedent this year.

Someone please explain to me again, why do people give that bald-ass chimp any credibility?

Mandate, Schmandate

I actually heard someone refer to Tuesday as an "Overwhelming win." Okay, let's break it down: The margin was 2%. That's it. 2% of those who voted did so for Bush more than Kerry. How the hell does that translate into overwhelming? More people voted against him than ever voted FOR a presidential candidate up until this year. Are you still going to call this a mandate? And when did it become an American value to cheer for a one-party rule, with virtually no checks or balances?

Just remember: You now have to be right 100% of the time for the next four years. Anything that goes wrong from now until 1/19/2009 is your fault, and you'll have no one to blame because you control all branches of government.

New DVD Recommendation

Ryko just put out a DVD of three live performances by Bill Hicks. If you don't know who he was, read the bio, and then ask yourself if you like stand-up comedy that has little to do with the crappy food you get on airlines. Most of this material, actually prolly all of it, is available on the web, but I like the idea of his family getting some royalties, so I went out and bought it, and so should you. Buy it, watch it, laugh. Especially now, laugh.

Something Slightly Strange

Okay, I have to admit, my numbers aren't exact (ie-to the decimal point), but they're about as close as I remember, but yesterday, during Bush's acceptance speech, the Dow was up about 99 points. During the course of the speech, my coworkers and I kept watching that gain slip down to the 70's, which means, that the Dow fell at least 20 point WHILE BUSH WAS TALKING. I'm not sure what it means, and the market did recover and close up around 101, but still, it was a little weird. I kept imagining the folks in the pits looking up the their TV monitors and going "Oh shit, you meant HIM?"

Seriously, if someone else can verify this, I'd really appreciate it.

Oh, And By The Way...

Thanks to all the under-30's who couldn't be bothered. Have fun paying off the largest budget deficit in our nation's history. If an election like this can't get you off your ass, what in the holy fuck will?

Note to Senator Kerry: Now that you've conceded, I hope to God you don't just let this administration run roughshod. Four percentage points is neither a landslide nor a mandate. I want to see you at the forefront of holding their feet to the fire on every single issue. Please don't let the Constitution be permanently replaced by the PATRIOT Act.

Quote of the Day

"Fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck fuck."- Tom Tomorrow

I feel like we just re-elected Boss Hogg

Come On Now

What are you reading this for? Go vote for chrissakes. If for no other reason than to prove O'Reilly's idiot viewers wrong. Go, do it now.