Mitch Hedberg Dead

The story has been going around all morning, and only just confirmed for sure. No official word on the cause, but he has had a heroin problem for a while now. Very sad, he was a great comic. I'm already starting to see people comparing him to the all time greats of comedy. I'm reserving judgement on that, more because he's part of a uniquely talented generation of comics who've become famous over the last few years (Doug Stanhope, Dave Attell, etc.), but he was definitely a cut above.

MitchHedberg.net

More Strange Bedfellows

Jesse throws in with the Schindler's. That popping sound you hear is hundreds of right-wing talk show hosts' heads exploding.

THIS is Conservatism?

Question for real, actual conservative Republicans: Why do you continue to let these idiots have the floor? I know for a fact that they do not speak for real, actual conservatives any more than Michael Moore or Janeanne Garofalo speak for me. Don't get me wrong, I do agree with some of their opinions, just as there are some things that Republicans say that I agree with (and they are never more right than when they tell me I'm a big slab of man-candy, or words to that effect). But you can't tell me that those folks have anywhere near the same kind of influence that Fox News and Rush Limbaugh have on a daily basis.

Lovely

Volunteer "Minuteman" border patrols. Central American gangs who smuggle illegal immigrants, drugs, and guns into the US. What could possibly go wrong?

NOW We Can Put The Issue to Rest

The Ultimate Warrior pipes in on the Schiavo case. Everyone else can shut up now.

(thanks to Fark for the link)

Grrrrrrrrr...

Comedy kareoke is here. I'd just like to be on record as saying that this is an absolutely horrible idea, and whomever came up with it needs to be shot out of a cannon.

The Onion Comes Through Again

A nice little tribute to HST, and the inferior hacks who try to be him, here.

I Give Eric Alterman a Comedy Spanking

Click this, then scroll down to Correspondent's Corner. As vindicated as I fell, though, I still can't help feeling Alterman went down pretty quick.*

Unrelated question: Can someone point out to me where I can put a blogroll on this page without having to write all the code? I really don't have the patience for that these days. Witness my personal website, which has been like this for over a year now.

*If you're wondering where "Grounhog Day" came from, it was directed by Harold Ramis, who was my big gun in that argument, even though he was only on SCTV for the first season.

Oh, And Big Surprise: They're Hypocrites, Too

Read.

Sickening

I'm one of those people that plans to live forever, because, as Bill Cosby once put it, "Somebody has to be first." I hate to even think about what kind of mindframe I'd be in if a loved one were in the state Terry Schiavo is in. Surely you know about it by now, it's absolutely heartbreaking. I can understand the desperate feelings her parents have. What other parent couldn't? No one wants to have to bury their child.

But what Congress and the President are doing right now is absolutely sickening. They are completely turning their backs on the long-time conservative belief in states rights, and passing a law that protects ONE person, and one only. They are dragging out this poor woman's pitiful existence, and for what reason? To prove that they love life more than the courts? How much do you really love life if you're willing to let someone go through it with no means of communicating or sustaining yourself? There are worse things than dying, and turning this family's pain into a political football is just plain disgusting. Shame on the

And shame on Tom Delay for using his position to defame a private citizen. Nice way to deflect attention from your own despicable career, huh, Tommy? You're a cheap thug, and you deserve nothing less than a blanket party on the day Texans finally oust you from your comfy little bully pulpit.

Note to Email Spammers

I know, you guys are all clever, with your subject lines like "Just following up," and "Here's that info you wanted," because more than once, I've thought to myself, "Hey, I must have asked someone for info, and there they are, nice enough to give it to me," or "Wow, a follow-up email, I'm going to get the name of this person's supervisor and write them a nice note." But, if the name of the sender is Zaphod Beeblebrox, I'm not opening it, and you've just wasted some server space, which is sure to make your IT guys mad, because those dudes are on a hair-trigger all the time anyway. If you're going to go phishing, at least have your resident hackers clone the names of some people I know, okay?

Spam better, folks. No kidding, it's not even a challenge any more.

What Have You Done With Jeff Jacoby?

A fairly well argued point about torture here. I'm telling you right now, if more conservative pundits start making sense to me, my head's going to explode.

John Gibson: Douchebag

I don't know where you come down on the Gay Marriage debate. Personally, I'm fine with it. Nobody's forcing the church to recognize them, and in the almost year since Massachusetts made it legal, the earth hasn't opened up and swallowed us whole. I know there are passionate arguments against it, and those folks may have valid arguments and feel very passionate about them. But how can you get behind this kind of wingnuttery? Dig it:

"Gays can't have kids — other than going to the abandoned kids store and getting
one or two, or borrowing sperm from someone with more sperm than brains — so by
definition they're out of the marriage game."

"Abandoned kids store"?!? What the fuh is he talking about? I know, I've heard the "Marriage is for producing kids" argument many times. So why aren't the people lobbying against Gay Marriage also lobbying against hetero couples who don't want kids? Why aren't they advocating a mandatory minimum timeframe for married couples to produce children or have their union dissolved? There are plenty of folks out there who just don't want them, where's the outcry from the anti-gay forces? Where?

And while we're at it, since so many think this will bring an end to the institution of marriage itself, why aren't we seeing constitutional ammedments to ban divorce?

What I Did for My Hallmark Holiday

That's a joke, St. Paddy's is serious biz to some of us. I still, however, have no plans, which is just fine, because I also have no money. Even if I did, though, I don't know that I'd go out drinking, just because that's the thing to do for Irish and Irish-Americans on the high holy day. Maybe if I had tickets to the Dropkick Murphy's show tomorrow night, I'd have a different opinion. If anyone has any suggestions for me, I'm open to ideas...

Academia Ruins Another Good Swearword...

When I saw the page for this book, all I could think of was the first (Read: good) Blues Brothers movie:

Ellwood: "I took the liberty of bullshitting you"

Jake: "You lied to me"

Ellwood: "It wasn't lies. It was just...bullshit."

Nice to know Princeton appreciates the classics, too.

(ps-Thanks to Eric Alterman for the link.)

When Did Pat Buchannan Start Making Sense?

I don't know if it's just a case of politics making strange bedfellows, or I'm being secretly brainwashed by the RGF (Oh, I guess that would be the same thing, come to think of it...). But I can't say that I disagree with a lot of this article. Of course, I'd like to see the next couple of paragraphs, what his ideas are about solving the situation he (and to a large extent, I) believe we're in. But so far, to my own surprise (yeah, I'm aware of my use of qualifiers in this post), I'm with Pat here. Someone get me a copy of the Daily Worker, stat.

More Selective Outrage

So, I see that the President has disinvited Gerry Adams from the official St. Paddy's (NOT St. Patty's, dammit) celebrations at the White House. He IS, however, going to host the family of Robert McCartney, who was murdered by members of the IRA. Presumably, this is being done to send a message to Sinn Fein and the IRA that they are no longer being included in the peace process. Nice work, folks, nothing like telling the IRA to feck off to ensure that bloodshed will only continue. Look, McCartney's murder was a brutal crime, no doubt. And like I said below, the IRA has done some things that no thinking supporter of the Irish Republican (as opposed to...) cause can reasonably support. But when is Mr. Bush planning to host the family of Pat Finucane? Or the victims of Johnny Adair? This is just another one-sided story about the Northern Ireland conflict, with the IRA as the perpetual bad guys, and the loyalist brutalities all but ignored. Oh, and shame on Senator Kennedy for turning his back on the Republican cause too.

Talk About Blaming the Victims...

Okay, that's not entirely true, I realize, but why does everyone insist on telling the story of the Northern Ireland conflict form the IRA=Terrorists POV? Granted, they've been responsible for some pretty nasty things that I cannot say I agree with, but when does anyone ever mention the RUC? The UDA? The UFF? Oh, you've never heard of those organizations? Maybe that's because the British press have been controlling the story for all these years, and those groups just happen to be pro-British paramilitary organizations (or, in the case of the RUC, official government agencies) who've killed as many, if not more people than the IRA. And none of them have ever been ordered to disarm as part of the peace process. Every time, and I mean every single time, that Sinn Fein and/or the IRA have agreed to the demands of the unionists, nutbags like Ian Paisley and David Trimble have backed out and made further demands. Let's not forget, the IRA was dormant, a virtual non-entity by the late 1960's, when the Derry massacre happened (for those who don't know, unarmed, peaceful civil rights protesters were fired upon and attacked by the the British army, in full view of television camera's, who then broadcast the images around the world, sparking renewed interest in the Republican cause and an almost overnight swelling of the IRA's ranks). The crown has bungled the Northern Ireland issue for decades, and no one has held them seriously accountable for it.

Who's really holding up the peace process?

Drudge Scoops Me Again!

Playgirl editor reveals...SHE'S A REPUBLICAN!!!!!!!!!!!!

Rest of the World yawns.

Developing...

This is Why Girls Wouldn't Talk to Me in High School.

Okay, I'm about to stroke out in total sci-fi geek ecstasy. Dr. Who is back! Warren Ellis contributes his review, full of Warren-like curmudgeonly goodness.

Thanks to John Rogers (who included the phrase "May the Lords of Gallifrey protect you" when he signed my high school yearbook) for the link.

News Flash: High School Kids Are Having Sex

Um, honestly? Just about anyone who went to a parochial school has been involved in things like this. No really, I went to a Catholic school, and this stuff went on quite a bit. Our chapel got more "Non-traditional" use than the administration ever knew about. Unless she was being forced to do this, I don't see it as the huge scandal that everyone's making it out to be.

F@#& the Nanny-State

Ted Stevens needs to be shot out of a cannon. No really, call whomever is arranging HST's ceremony and ask if you can piggyback this onto it. I'm so sick and tired of being told that I have to sacrifice my rights on behalf of the children. I'm an adult, goddamnit, and sometimes I like to hear people talk dirty on tv. And sometimes, I even like to see boobies on tv too. I like kids, I even have one of my own, and believe you me, she doesn't get to watch the boobies with me (not that she'd want to anyway). You know why? Because I am a parent to my child. I know what I don't want my kid getting exposed to, and I actively monitor that. There are certain things that an 11-year old is just not emotionally ready to deal with, and so I try to limit her exposure to them as much as I can. And then, when she goes to bed, I want to watch adult shows (not porn, necessarily, but adult themes, perv), and have adult conversations, and everything else that goes along with being an adult. Plus, one can only be expected to deal with a certain amount of Nickelodeon programming each day (although Fairly Oddparents rules). So pleasepleaseplease, someone toss a blanket over this moron's head and stuff him in a howitzer, then pull the trigger (or whatever the hell makes those things go boom). The adults of the world will thank you for it.