It's Just Crazy Enough To Work

Kos writes that the administration's seemingly bi-weekly claims to have killed or captured Al Qeda's #2 are faulty, because they can't all be the #2 guy. But here's the thing: What if that's been the plan all along? Every couple of weeks, they identify the top deputy in Al Qeda, take him out, and wait until the new guy takes over. Give him some time to get used to the bigger cubicle, hang some pics on the corkboard, etc. Just when he's getting used to the free skybox tickets at the soccer stadium, we (the Coalition of the Willing) zap him! Eventually, there's going to be no one left to take the gig, and then they go git bin Laden. I mean, the guy's practically moving in slo-mo at this point, dragging a big-ass kidney dialysis machine around the mountains of Pakistan, right? It's diabolical, and inspired. Kos really needs to broaden his thinking and start hearting the War on Terror.

Because I Do Whatever John Rogers Says

Read Dingo. It's good, so far.

Going Underground

So I've been asked to participate in the 2005 New York Underground Comedy Festival. On Thursday, October 6, I'll be at Connies Restaurant in Derby, CT. That's right, I'm so underground, I'll be in a different state entirely. I'm pretty happy about it though, seeing as I haven't had much going on, comedy-wise, lately. If you're in the area, stop by and say hello.

No Wait, Is THIS For Real?!?

Karl Rove is in charge of the reconstruction of New Orleans?!?

Are. You. Fucking. Kidding. Me?

Irony is over. Out Of Touch is the new black.

Is This For Real?

Is Reuters playing with photoshop or something?

(link via Atrios)

CoveRAGE

I agree with Rogers, in that I can't even begin to provide any kind of competent coverage of the Gulf Coast hurricane aftermath, certainly not as good as others have. Kos recommends Atrios as required reading today. I could say the same about Kos.

You know, the more I read, the more pissed off I get about this whole situation, and how preventable it was.

Where To Turn

There's a pretty good list of organizations providing help for Katrina victims here (link from Kevin Drum). Of course, there are also plenty of bottom-feeders out there who have already launched scam websites looking to steal your money, so approach any of those emails in your inbox with caution. The magnitude of this tragedy is going to take a while to fully sink in, I think. And the news doesn't seem to get any better as time goes on. Hopefully, that will change soon.

Knee-Jerk Defined

Sean Hannity should be scrubbing toilets somewhere. I mean it, the guy has more qualifications to push a broom than he does to comment on the events of the day. Why people take seriously a guy who does things like this is completely baffling to me. Fox News would be better served plucking some kid out of the Talk Radio class at Connecticut School of Broadcasting and giving them a show than keeping a dope like Hannity on the air.

Here We Go

I guess it was only a matter of time before someone out there decided that the massive devastation on the Gulf Coast is the result of God's wrath over something or other, right? It seems Pat Robertson (he of the "Blame America First" crowd's "Assassinate World Leaders I Don't Like" subgroup) has a little too much on his plate right now, so these ankleheads have decided to pick up the ball and run with it. And really, doesn't it just make sense? I mean, if a glob of mayonaise on someone's shirt can be the image of Jesus, why can't a computer-generated image of a hurricaine be a fetus?

Extreme Makeover: Blog Edition

Yup, it's the new look 'blog. The old style was a bit hard to read, for me at least, and I noticed that everyone seemed to use that particular design, so I changed it to something else, for now. Hopefully, once I finally get off'n my ass and redesign my main website, I'll add this content into that page, and so make it easier for those of you who have to link over to this page from that one. Of course, the chances of that happening are laughable at best, so whatever.

I HATE BLOCKQUOTE

That is all.

I Guess I Hate You All

And not even in the normal, America-Hating-Liberal way. Imagine my surprise when I found out that, according to Washing Post writer Stephen Hunter, the simple fact that I'm a comedian who enjoys the odd dick joke indicates that I hate and fear anyone who isn't in showbiz. Imagine my suprise.

Oh! And by the way, jokes are now WMD's, according to the shrewd Mr. Hunter, who takes the traditional "Comedians are all crying on the inside" bit, and extends it to the point of absurdity. Dig this:

What you see here isn't so much sexual neurosis but career neurosis. You see the entertainer's fear and loathing of that regular place most of us would call the world. He hates the square ideas that are the foundation of such a place: the family structure of parents nurturing kids in healthy, loving relationships; the economic underpinning known as a job, attended regularly rain or shine, sickness or health, out of a sense of obligation; the slow socialization of children so that they can ultimately survive in that same world.

Now, I don't speak for the comics in the film, but most of the folks I know in the business HAVE families, kids, houses, etc. Some of them even have dayjobs. So what the fuh is Mr. Hunter talking about? I like being a comic because I like it, that's all. This has nothing to do with fear and loathing of normal society. I live in a suburb, my daughter is an A student, my girlfriend works in the public sector, and her daughter is a typical 4-year-old who loves pizza and Blue's Clues and her grandparents, probably in that order. Do I have a particular take on family life and politics and society in my act? Yes, I do. But I live in it and function in it just the same. I have no desire to tear the whole thing down, even if certain elements of it drive me nuts once in a while. Watching a movie about comics sharing an inside joke gives no more of an insight into what comics love and hate and fear than watching a porno gives you an insight into good hygene.

Note to Stephen Hunter: Sometimes a dick joke is just a cigar, jackass.

My First Turf

Yup, I turfed a comment in my August 5th post. Nothing big, just an anonymous spam about god-knows-what. Anyway, I got a couple questions about it, so there you go.

And Now We Know

The President talks American, thank be to the man who coach him talk like that.

Send Limbaugh to the Front Lines

When I worked in talk radio, one of my early responsibilities was to run the tapes of the previous days' Rush Limbaugh Show during the overnight hours. So no only did I accept his challenge to liberals to give him one week, I gave him well over a year. I'll be honest, he could be entertaining, and he clearly has a gift for communication. The problem is, he's a completely unhinged sociopath. Don't believe me? Ask yourself, what kind of human being would accuse someone of going into a warzone to "pad his resume," while he himself got out of military service for having ass warts? Was Hackett doing house-to-house searches in Iraq? No, but he was certainly in much more danger than Limbaugh in the 60's and 70's. I think it's not too late for Rusty to do his part, though. He'd clearly do a great job filling Baghdad Bob's shoes.

Screw Captain America

These guys are my posse now.

Of course, this book comes as no surprise to those of us who have suspected all along that Liddy, Hannity, et. al., were evil cyborgs.

"Our System Works"

Click here. Pay particular attention to the section regarding the judge's statement, then remember that Jose Padilla (among others) is STILL in confinement, denied any constitutional rights. And don't forget that it's being done in your name.

Ben Stein: 14 Minutes And Counting

Okay, I get it, Ben Stein is a TV-ready Conservative commentator who used to work in the White House in the early 70's (Oh, and let's set the record straight here: he was a speechwriter, not the goddamn Secretary of State. In other words, he wasn't Sam Seaborn, he was the two guys that followed Sam around every few episodes who's names you can't remember, Mkay?). But after Ferris Bueller and that crappy game show he hosted, what's he really got going on? You'd think a guy as smart as everyone says he is would know to get out from in front of this runaway train, but I guess not. Maybe we should try to get him on some celebrity card game show or something...

Sorta Like Mad Libs, Only With Guns

Here.

Nice to see the DoD has streamlined the investigative reporting process. Next up, 35 unidentified Iraqi women give their unsolicited, unedited "Thumb's up!" to the new Iraq constitution...

Dignifization

*cough* Lot's of dust around here. Guess I haven't posted in a while. More on that later.

President Bush says he would like to see a "dignified" confirmation process for his Supreme Court nominee. I agree. I think it should be at least as dignified as the process by which his administration deals with its critics.