2012 came in with a yawn. Not because it was boring, but because it was the first low key New Year's Eve I've had in a very long time. Back when I was doing standup, New Year's almost always meant a big money show, the trade off being that everyone was drunk and loud, and you weren't so much doing a standup act as herding cats. When I joined the Gobshites, we all piled into Pete's house for New Year's Eve with our instruments and had a fun seissun. Last year was spent in Providence, seeing my friend Natalie's band Thunderbox, the all-girl metal tribute supergroup, and Sasquatch and the Sickabillys, the all boy rockabilly/punk supergroup/bar fight waiting to happen. This year was decidedly more quiet. Just me, Jess, her cousin and her cousin's husband at their home, having dinner and laughing. Relaxed, no alcohol (for me, anyway), watching Kathy Griffin take her top off and Anderson Cooper trying to keep up. The last couple of weeks of the year were, in fact, a very nice break from the norm. I only worked a total of five full days, and had two mini vacations wedged in there. We had Christmas, new babies, a couple of Dr. Who-athons, and a lot of relaxing and reflecting. Definitely what I needed to close out 2011.
I tend not to make resolutions, because I know I'm just as liable to get distracted and either forget what I promised myself, or I'll feel so crappy about breaking those promises that I stop trying altogether. With any luck (and a big assist from medical science), I'll be a lot better about all of that this year. So instead of resolutions, here's what I'd like to see happen for 2012...
First, I'd like to continue my personal winning streak. All of the things I've started in the latter half of 2011 need to continue throughout this year and beyond. I also need to kill off whatever voice in my head that keeps asking "Yeah but, aren't you a little too old now?" No, asshole, I'm not. I'm 42. Even if I'm a little over halfway through life, that still leaves plenty of time to get some things done. There's a reason they call it Middle Age. I want to keep learning new things. Musically, artistically, creatively, and whatever else-ively. I want to finish the songs I'm writing, write some new ones, bring them to a live setting, and maybe even record some of them. I want to continue developing as a prose writer, and maybe finally tackle some fiction/short story writing. I want to get back into illustration, possibly take a class, and get one of the tattoos I've designed inked on me. Or maybe even someone else. That might be neat. Unless the tattoo is later used to identify someone on a wanted poster. That would not be very neat at all. Maybe I'll just continue designing them for me and not commit any crimes.
I'd also like it if I could keep a lid on my patience for any of these things. All too often in the past, I'd forget that most people can't just pick up a skill and master it right away. I'd get frustrated from lack of significant progress, rather than take pride in what I'd learned to do already. Then I'd put it aside, and sometimes never come back to it. I don't want to do that anymore. Positive changes, positive growth, positive attitude. It pretty much all boils down to that (cue Gorilla Biscuits reference in 3...2...).
A lot of this depends, of course, on my continuing to maintain a grip on my mental health, and all of the issues that go along with that. So I guess this could be considered a resolution: I am determined to keep working on that, and do whatever I need to in order to be able to do that. I've lost a lot of time and opportunities through mental illness. I'm pledging to myself that this will not happen again.
All the things people usually say about fitness and getting in shape are things I'd like to continue as well. And smoking, well, it's my only remaining vice (not counting frozen Hershey almond bars). Hopefully I'll be able to replace that with something better and less diseasey this year. Plus I think I'm finally going to just go out and get a bike. I've been wanting one for years.
A more lucrative and satisfying job is in order as well. I've got a couple of leads, one of which seems very promising. Same type of job I've been doing for years, but in a much more creative, right-brain type of environment. Candles have been lit...
So here I come, 2012. Nothing completely set in stone, but a bunch of things I'm determined to do. One or two of those things may fall short, but they will not derail the rest of my life. It is resolved.
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