Phil Chevron - RIP

Sad news came this week that Phil Chevron, guitarist for the Pogues, as well as legendary Irish punks Radiators from Space, lost his battle with cancer at age 56.    I had the great fortune and honor of interviewing him last year when the Radiators' "Trouble Pilgrim" was released here in the states.  I figured rather than try to write some kind of eulogy like everyone else, I'd re-post that interview here as tribute to his life, his body of work, and his well earned reputation as a lovely man.  Thanks to big John Murphy of Shite 'N' Onions for setting it up.  You can read the article here.

It's been well over a year, I know.  I keep meaning to write, I've started and stopped more times than I care to admit.  I don't know if it's writer's block, inertia, too much going on elsewhere, or what.  All I know is I've neglected this blog for far too long.  I'll be writing more very soon.

Milestones and Mandos

Things are now steaming right along with the wedding plans, now that we've found a venue.  We're getting the guest list together, planning out the centerpieces, and everything else that goes along with it.  This is going to be a DIY wedding and we're hitting up yard sales and thrift stores like crazy to get stuff we can re-purpose and up-cycle into decorations and other things.  If what we're planning becomes reality, this is going to be some party.  And due to popular demand (okay, a bunch of my cousins made sad puppy eyes when we balked), we're making it costume optional.  We were iffy about it, but finally said yes.  I'm confident we made the right decision.

I passed my one year anniversary with very little fanfare, which is just fine.  Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of it, and it is a milestone.  But it's also just become how I live.  I don't even think about it much unless I'm around other people drinking, and even then I'm not wishing I was.  Hell, I've even participated in a few discussions about favorite beers and whatnot, without suddenly frothing at the mouth and heading to the local for a 12 pack.

What I haven't been doing since I moved is going to meetings.  Part of that is just the normal cycle of me getting distracted from a routine.  But part of it was my own conscious decision to go a different way with this.  Well not so much different, but I feel like I've gotten what I needed from the meetings, and now I'll take it from here.  That's not a comment on anyone who does feel the need to continue, it's just the path that works for me.  I know folks who done it both ways and succeeded.  And if I feel like it's not working, at least I know I can go back.

So, in the last few weeks, I've had a couple of days that just completely got away from me.  Try as I might, I just couldn't get out of my own head.  There was no particular reason for it, and I was at least able to recognize what was going on.  But that didn't stop it from happening anyway.  It kind of caught me off guard, which never used to happen.  Used to be, I wouldn't even notice it because it was just a familiar feeling.  The melancholy and ennui had a way of just becoming, and I'd simply let it happen with only a slight desire to snap out of it.

Those kinds of days really make me appreciate how far I've come in my ability (not to mention desire) to avoid letting my mental health issues consume me.  They also remind me how important it is that I stay vigilant and on top of it.  And Jess has been amazing throughout.  She doesn't hesitate to confront me about it and make sure I'm not drifting off.  She's constantly telling me that I keep her grounded.  Well she's keeping me above ground and out of the black holes.  It's no wonder I'm marrying this lady.

And on a lighter note, Spitshiner now has a Facebook page.  Check it out and get on the bandwagon now.  There really does seem to be somewhat of a buzz around this band, and the few shows we've had have been really fun.  We've got another one coming up this Sunday at the Midway Cafe in Jamaica Plain, which is all-ages and free (and will also have BBQ food!).  Also performing is Riki Rocksteady and the Arraignments, Matt Charette, and Max Jeffers.  Hopefully we'll have a few more shows this Summer, then we're planning on having a four or five song CD available when we play the Boston Tattoo Convention over Labor Day Weekend.

I'll leave you with a sample of some of our music, recorded at Union in Allston.  It's me, Jenna, and Josh performing one of his originals, "Heathens and Harlots."

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Springtime for Something Something Something...

"That beard ain't fuckin' around" - Tim McIntire

Wow, I didn't really mean to take so much time off from the blog.  Part of it is a slight case of writers block, and part is just due to lots and lots of things going on and changes.  We're still in Worcester, we still smile when we see each other, and the cat still alternately drives us nuts and makes us laugh hysterically.  Plus, we're becoming eBay moguls, having decided that we could use the money certain of our unneeded things can bring in more than the things themselves.  Seriously, why do I still have hockey equipment?  I haven't played a game in...oh, let's see...DECADES.  And books we haven't read in years and probably wont ever read again.  And a few other things.

Still searching for a good venue for the wedding.  Well, we haven't really been searching much of late.  Life is pretty hectic right now.  I think we're probably going to have to go with a traditional hall after all.  We would have loved to have held it in one of the really unique, funky artsy spaces in Worcester, but many of them aren't equipped for events like that, and some were fairly lackluster in even getting back to us at all.  Oh well.  And we got a lead this weekend on a place very close in Worcester that might just be perfect for what we want to do.  Fingers crossed.  I'm pretty optimistic, and once this part is settled, the rest should be rather simple, because we already know what we want.  We just need to know what kind of space we're going to fit it into.

Jess and I played our first official gig last Friday, and despite the hectic and erratic nature of our practice schedule, it seems like we did pretty well.  The owner of the venue liked us, so hopefully we'll get our own night there sometime soon.  Thanks to Jim and Maryann Power and PS Rock for having us on the show.  We ended up pulling off two half hour sets of some traditional Irish, folk, and a few of Jess' own original songs.  I played mandolin in public for the first time, and managed to not quite butcher the harmonica intro to "Dirty Old Town."  One of the things people really seemed to like was the fact that we harmonize well.  I'm going to give all the credit to her on that.  A one-time music major, Jess has areal ear for those kind of touches.

My own solo stuff has taken a back seat of late.  I'm not all too upset about it, but I do want to start kicking that into gear again.  My other new project with Josh and Chad from Beantown Boozehounds (as well as the Snipes and Taxi Driver) just got booked to play all four nights of this year's Boston Tattoo Convention.  We've been using the name As the Crow Flies, but found out recently that there are several bands of different genres using that name as well.  So we're on the hunt for a new name.  We plan to have at least four or five songs recorded for a CD that we'll put out to coincide with the festival, and possibly a t-shirt as well.  Things are really starting to come along there, and everyone seems to be pretty psyched about it.

My daughter is finishing her first year of college this week.  I really can't believe it.  It seems like just last month we were moving her into the dorm.  She's done so well and loves it up there so much.  My confidence in her is proving to be entirely justified.  Plus, we can talk Doctor Who now.  Win!

Yesterday was the fifth anniversary of my gastric bypass surgery.  My initial loss was around 140-150 pounds.  Since then I've gone back up a little, back down a lot, and back up a little again.  I'm working once again on getting back down and maintaining that, but overall I'm pretty happy with where I am in general, and it looks like my employment situation is about to improve big time (yeah, I know I'm counting chickens here, but it does look good).

So there it is.  Not all that Earth-shattering or exciting, but I didn't want to leave this site untouched for too long.  Well, I already have, but no longer.  I haven't even told you about...eh, it'll wait...

Lot's of Fingers In Lot's of Pies

I knew I'd been slacking on posting here for a little bit, but has it really been over a month?  Yeesh, well, I've been relatively busy.  Working on music, making wedding plans, looking for a new job.  This bee has been busy.  I've also managed to get out to a few shows, so it hasn't all been running myself ragged.  Add to that the fact that I have nearly 300 days of sobriety under my belt, and things are going really well.  Oh, and I'm almost through season six of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, so there's been progress on several fronts.

I addition to my own solo stuff (nothing booked yet, still working out my set lists and practicing and such), and the duo Jess and I have been working on (and will be showcasing at Galway Bay pub in Pawtucket, Rhode Island on April 27th, *pluggity plug plug*), I've got a couple other projects in the works.  One is an all original acoustic band called As the Crow Flies with current and former members of the Snipes, Beantown Boozehounds, Taxi Driver, and other Boston area bands.  We've practiced a couple of times, and it feels like it's going to be a lot of fun.  They played a few shows already prior to me joining, but we're really getting everything together now, and will probably start making a serious push towards bigger stages this summer.

The other is an acoustic, traditional Irish trio called the Kilmainham Three, with fellow Gobshite travelers Paddy Putnam and Amanda McCue.    We played our first two gigs this past week at Dunn Gaherins in Newton, which were fairly well received.  We're in need of a small PA system and a few mic stands, but other than that we've got a fairly low-overhead part time job if we can get a few more pubs in our circle.

I've also sat in with the Gobshites a bunch of times in the last few weeks.  I'm not going back full time, but it's nice to see everyone now and again, and the shows have been fun.  My favorite of them has to be the Punks For a Princess benefit at Féte in Providence, with the Mahones, BarRoom Heroes, and Sharks Come Cruisin'.  Just a total blast from start to finish.  If you haven't seen BarRoom Heroes yet, well, you've probably got plenty of time, because they're like fourteen years old.  But you should do so immediately, because they're really really good.  And their mom makes awesome cupcakes.  They also lent us the use of their drum kit that day, so I'm very grateful to them as well as somewhat in awe.  I wish I had my shit together enough at their age.

I'd never heard of Sharks Come Cruisin', but they were a really nice buffer between the loud, snotty punk of BarRoom Heroes and the "Acousticelticore" of the Gobshites.  Normally they have drums and a fiddle and melodica, along with electric guitar, but they went acoustic three piece this time around, and it worked just fine.  I'm definitely going to have to catch one of their shows.

Our set went really well, I thought.  The sound at the club is great anyway, and they really had us mixed well.  And everyone just seemed to lock right in with each other.  I didn't even get my usual leg cramp after three songs.  It was a just a raucous, all out good time for those of us on stage, and it seemed like the crowd fed on that.  One of the best Gobshites shows I've been a part of in recent months.

And the Mahones, well, they were the Mahones.  When they first pulled up to the club, I couldn't figure out who the new girl was, until I realized that Katie (accordion and vocals) has cut off most of her long long hair.  It was really cool to see them again, and they turned in a blistering set that night, dedicating songs to each of the other bands on the bill in turn, as well as to the Solys (Punks For a Princess organizers).  And the benefit had the added...um...benefit of raising a lot of money for a little girl who needs a cochlear implant.  It's good when you can have a great time with some of your favorite bands, and do some good as well.

All in all, it was a really great day, and along with these other new projects, I'm feeling totally energized.  If I can find a new job and a decent venue for the wedding within the next couple weeks, I'll consider myself ahead of the game.

Needs Must...But What Do We Really Need?

A quick update: Success (of a sort)!  I managed to find a pharmacy that could fill my scrip.  Unfortunately, the scrip had expired by the time I did.  I'm getting a new one this week.  Hopefully they'll still have it.  I've temporarily handed over all the powers of the Executive until such time as I am ready to resume the responsibility (What I wouldn't give to have my own Josh, Toby, Sam, C.J., and Leo.  And Donna...hmmmmmm...whuh?  Oh, sorry.  Let's move on.).

Anyway, life keeps a-moving.  Plans continue to be made for the wedding, which will be in October.  We've more or less picked a venue, and we're now negotiating the guest list.  Neither one of us being particularly traditional (except when it comes to Celtic music), this is going to be a pretty low-key affair.  Think of a Halloween party that just happens to be taking place at the same time as a marriage ceremony.  We may even decide to make costumes optional.  I wonder what the Misfits are doing that day...

One of the things we talked about is the fact that, really, there isn't all that much we need.  We've got kitchen stuff, china, linens, appliances, etc., so it's not like we're starting out fresh (although, if it were possible to register for a Swiss bank account, we'd be open to advice on how).  Obviously, if someone wants to buy us something, we'd be grateful for the gesture and the gift.  Who doesn't like getting presents?  We've registered for some fun things at Amazon, and will probably do the same with Target, for our older relatives who aren't as web-savvy.  What we're asking people to do is make a donation to one (or even all, if it's within your means) of these three charities.

My folks have been giving to My Brother's Keeper for years.  They met the founders while on Cursillo (which, for those who don't know, is a religious retreat).  They are the very definition of practicing what you preach, providing furniture, clothes, food, and other essentials to low income families in need.  They do these things in the name of their Christian faith.  Now, I'm not particularly religious, and I'm not a fan of evangelicals (not that they are, I'm just saying).  But I've always held that, if your faith gives you comfort and inspires you to do good works, then more power to you.  You could not find a better example of this than My Brother's Keeper.

Jess' family has given to Boys Town over the years.  If you've seen the Spencer Tracy/Mickey Rooney classic, you pretty much have an idea of what their deal is.  Since that film was made, they've expanded their services to meet the needs of the times, and they're now open to all families, not just boys.  They've also expanded from one location in Nebraska to several regional centers, including one in New England.

Jess and I chose Punks for a Princess, an organization founded by my friend Tony Soly.  They started in 2008 in response to the heartbreaking loss of his 7-year old niece, and they give money to various charities helping children in need.  There's actually a campaign going on right now on the Indie-Go-Go website to help raise some funds to cover some of their administrative costs.  They're looking to raise at least $5,000.00, and as of this writing, they have 25 days and just under $2,000.00 to go.  If you're into punk music and paraphanelia, they have some really neat premium incentives for certain dollar amount donations, so check it out.

We've got a lot of good things in our lives, not the least of which is each other and our families.  And the things young engaged couples usually ask for, we pretty much already have.  The things we absolutely need are things that only we can provide for ourselves, so why not make our day a time to help those who need it most?

Make the donation in our name, your own name, or the name of someone you want to honor.  All we ask is that you take a look at what these organizations have to offer, and give till it feels good.  That's more than enough of a gift for us.

What It Must Feel Like to Be a Pinball

Have you ever been in a situation where you're stuck in a bind between two different people or companies, each blaming the other for holding back or preventing something that will help you with a problem, and neither of them offering any kind of solution or even trying to show the least amount of empathy?  Just think what it would be like to have that He Said/She Said taking place between two massively large and powerful entities.  That's what's going on right now for people who need to take Adderall to treat their ADHD symptoms.

There is currently a nationwide shortage of Adderall, and the pharmaceutical companies are accusing the federal government of limiting their ability to make more.  The government counters that the industry is holding back in order to raise prices.  The end result is that those people who depend on this drug are forced to either go searching around to several pharmacies in search of it, and do without until it's found, or switch medications to something that may not be as effective and carries different side effects.

I'm one of those people, and speaking on behalf of all of us (Because I'm sure they would have all elected me for this if they'd have been able to focus a little better), I'm here to say I DON'T CARE WHO'S GODDAMN FAULT THIS IS, JUST FIX IT!

Oh.  My.  Giddy.  Aunt.  Is there anything more frustrating than dealing with organizations who, were they fulfilling their purpose, should be helping you, but are instead taking the hands-off approach and pointing at the other one, saying "It's his fault"?  I'm sure there is somewhere, but I sure as hell wouldn't be able to recognize it because I just saw something shiny over there.

I'd been on a couple other meds before, and things were starting to get a lot better for me then.  But once Adderall was introduced to the mix, it was like night and day.  Unfortunately, because it's so effective at helping one's mind focus and sweep away the cobwebs, an even bigger contrast is going from having it to not having it.  When you haven't taken it, things you didn't even realize were a problem start to improve measurably.  But once that supply is gone those things seem even worse.  I think I've been relatively lucky in that the last couple of times I've had difficulty getting a scrip filled, it's only lasted a day or two until I could find it elsewhere.  Not so right now.  I've been out for nearly two weeks now.  Unfortunately, so has my pharmacy, and every other pharmacy in the region.  And there have been repercussions.

In the last several days, I've experienced intense confusion at home, at work, and in at least two near-miss incidents while driving.  I've had conversations with people in which I couldn't have told you what they'd just said if you'd threatened my life.  Now, you can argue whether some people are actually worth paying attention to.  But when your job requires active listening skills?  You pretty much gotta give everyone the benefit of the doubt.

Switching medications is definitely an option.  But like I said before, switching can be a tricky business.  Not all ADHD meds treat things the same way.  My doctor is reluctant to switch me because the Adderall's been working so well, and I agree.  But when there's no Adderall to be had?  I don't know, in a case like this, if it's necessarily true that some medication is better than none.  Given my doctor's hesitance, I think she's inclined to agree.

So while a fairly large chunk of the population is worried beyond worried that all of the progress they've made will wash away like a sand castle (a scenario made even more troubling once one knows what better actually feels like), the people in the position to actually do something about this are shuffling their feet, shrugging their shoulders, and saying "Yeah, doesn't look like it's going to get better any time soon."

Great, well you folks just continue twiddling your thumbs.  We'll be over here, trying to  figure out why the VCR isn't cooking our Lean Pockets.

Or, you could just get off your asses and fix it.  It really is just that simple, assholes.

The Sound of Our Town(s)

One of the really great things I've been able to do lately is go to more shows around Boston, Worcester, and Providence, and reconnect with old friends that are still around, and also meet and hang out with folks who weren't around during the Pleistocene Era, when I was in high school and college and going to shows.  There are a lot of great bands out there that came along after I'd stepped away, and a whole bunch of the bands from my days, and some from before that (hello, F.U.s!), are starting to play out again, for fun, nostalgia, or what have you.  It's definitely a good time to be around the New England punk scene.

And the last couple of months have been a boon, at least for me.  Street Dogs, Lenny Lashley, the Lyres, Classic Ruins, Toasters, Ska-Prest, the Snipes, Brunt of It, Frank Turner, The Locals, and many many more bands have blown through here.  And that's not even counting the shows I didn't hear about until it was too late (The Damned), or the shows I couldn't make because I was at another show (Bosstones, various shows at the Midway, PVD Social Club, Ralph's, the Middle East, etc.).  There have been just a plethora of shows and going's on around the area in general.  And I'm working my way back into it faster than I thought I would.

Of the shows I mentioned above, I can't think of a single one that was disappointing in the least.  And there are a ton of shows coming up that I am determined to get to, come hell or high water.  In the near future, I'm going to be devoting a fair amount of this space to promoting, and then reviewing, those shows, particularly the ones that feature local acts.  I want to give as much of a spotlight as I can to the huge amount of talent in this area, and hopefully do my small part to get folks out to see these bands that tear up the local clubs every week.

And things are starting to move a little more on my own front, musically, as well.  I now have at least three different projects going: My own solo stuff, some duo music with Jess, and an as-yet nebulous group of people looking to maybe do the band thing again.  Dates will be announced very soon for one or all of those things.  Actually, Jess and I will be appearing at the Galway Bay Pub in Pawtucket, Rhose Island on April 27th.  Hopefully there will be more people there that were at Leitrim's.  I think it should be fine, as the pub is right behind McCoy Stadium, the home of the Red Sox' top minor league affiliate.  I'd guess they get some good crowds during the baseball season.

I'm still going to write about mental health and other issues, as they still figure large in my life.  And there are some things going on in that arena that bear commenting on (*cough*nationwideAdderallshortage*cough*).  But I think expanding the range will make this a more enjoyable exercise, both for myself and others.  Hopefully, I can expose you to something new.  And hopefully, you can do the same for me.

Stock Taking and Belly Rubs

Sometimes, you just want to go ahead and have the lobotomy and get it over with.  And then your shift ends and you go home and it's the weekend.  It's been that kind of week.  Not for any reason in particular, but there are just those weeks when it seems you really can't stand what you're doing all day, and you're doing everything you can to rectify that situation, and thus far you're getting nowhere, even with people who seem to be really interested in your skills.  It's been that kind of month.

And then it's five o'clock on Friday, and time to go slalom through the highway/obstacle course to home.  The cat, as always, meets you at the door, and then plops down on his spot on the living room rug, and assumes the "I'm ready for my belly rubs" position.  And someone amazing comes out and greets you with a radiant smile and an incredible hug and an electric kiss, and now it's okay to be tired and giddy and let the stress of the week go back into the recesses of your awareness, ready for relaxation and adventure.  And maybe this time, Monday will hold off for a little bit.

What would help, what would really help, is if your job wasn't completely rote and unimaginative.  If your living was made by doing something that actually makes you excited.  And maybe even involves things that interest you and appeal to your passions.  A job where you don't feel like nodding off at your desk in the middle of the day .  One where you're not constantly micro-managed, even though management is fully aware that you've been doing this for over ten years, and you pretty much have it down at this point.

You think back to the jobs you had that were the most enjoyable, and they usually involved something to do with music, arts, literature, performance, or some combination of them.  Unfortunately, those were also always the jobs that paid the least.  And so your strategy now is to find something that combines at least elements of those things with your current skill set, and if you can find something that at least comes close, you could probably be fine with that.  So you keep looking, because improving your situation doesn't just mean making more money.

But right now, you're home.  You're warm, and loved, and happy.  And you're not all that worried about it, because things are going well, and you have no plans to give up.

Now if only the cat would stop jumping on your head at two in the morning...

The Most Adorable Hardcore Song EVER

I challenge the entire hardcore community to come up with something cuter than this.  She even has the scowl down.  I'm pretty sure she could kick every member of Black Veil Brides' ass.  Actually, I know a lot of people who'd like to see that.

Another One About the Cat...and One Other Thing

Well, more or less.  I guess it's really about adapting to change.  I'm not always so good at it, I admit.  But it's been interesting to watch Finn adjust and adapt to his new surroundings.  The first night in the new house, he basically found some boxes in the laundry room to hide behind, and there he stayed.  Over the next week or so, he gradually started to explore his way around all the new space he suddenly had.  He began developing little routines, finding new favorite spots (Windows are still his primary form of entertainment during the day.  We call it "Finn TV."), and getting used to all the new people in his life.  Jess, he was already well familiar with.  Our roommate Jessie was a completely new person he'd never met before, as well as the frequent visitors and "Whosday" attendees.  He's found a spot in the front room to replace the spot in the old living room on which to receive his belly rubs when we get home. Life, it seems, is pretty good for the toddler.

One of the more entertaining things (for me, anyway) to see was him getting used to hearing noises from above.  We didn't have an upstairs in the old place, and so for a while he'd dash into some little hidey hole whenever someone walked around on the floor above.  He's also developed a habit of trying to look behind all of the pictures we have hanging up.  I'm not really sure what he's hoping to find, but he keeps checking.  I think maybe he thinks they're doors to something.  I have to admit, it would be kinda neat to find out he's right.

I didn't need a whole lot of adjusting to the new house, as I'd already spent plenty of time there.  The commute is definitely different.  The adjustment for me was getting used to living with someone else again.  What made it easier was that, while I'd gotten used to being pretty much on my own, it hadn't been all that long since I'd co-habitated, so getting back into the swing of that wasn't so hard.  And Jess is very easy to live with, which is a plus.  The fact that it's a bigger place, with plenty of room for everyone so we're not always on top of each other definitely helps.  There's a TV upstairs, one downstairs, a library, dining room, etc.  The only thing I really have to adjust to is getting around a city that, before this year, I'd never really spent a whole lot of time in.  Before, my experience with Worcester consisted mainly of driving straight to the venue I was either performing at or seeing someone perform at, and then going home afterward.  Now I live here, and I'm learning how to navigate my way around the area.  It's not particularly daunting, just different.  The only thing I miss a little bit is the ability to walk from my place to the center of town.  Here, we have to get in the car to go practically anywhere we want to go.  Then again, I had to do that in the old place too, if I wanted to head to Providence or Boston or wherever.

I'm happy here, Finn seems pretty happy too, and so far it doesn't appear that Jess has any problems with us being there full time.  In fact, the adjustment has gone so well that we announced to our families and friends this weekend that we're engaged.  Yup, we've agreed to be each others ball and chain.  We're planning for late October, at a venue to be determined.  We're still figuring out the details of all that, but it's going to be one hell of a hooley, that's for damn sure.

Other than that, pretty quiet.  And you?

Because I'm Young

2012 came in with a yawn.  Not because it was boring, but because it was the first low key New Year's Eve I've had in a very long time.  Back when I was doing standup, New Year's almost always meant a big money show, the trade off being that everyone was drunk and loud, and you weren't so much doing a standup act as herding cats.  When I joined the Gobshites, we all piled into Pete's house for New Year's Eve with our instruments and had a fun seissun.  Last year was spent in Providence, seeing my friend Natalie's band Thunderbox, the all-girl metal tribute supergroup, and Sasquatch and the Sickabillys, the all boy rockabilly/punk supergroup/bar fight waiting to happen.  This year was decidedly more quiet.  Just me, Jess, her cousin and her cousin's husband at their home, having dinner and laughing.  Relaxed, no alcohol (for me, anyway), watching Kathy Griffin take her top off and Anderson Cooper trying to keep up.  The last couple of weeks of the year were, in fact, a very nice break from the norm.  I only worked a total of five full days, and had two mini vacations wedged in there.  We had Christmas, new babies, a couple of Dr. Who-athons, and a lot of relaxing and reflecting.  Definitely what I needed to close out 2011.

I tend not to make resolutions, because I know I'm just as liable to get distracted and either forget what I promised myself, or I'll feel so crappy about breaking those promises that I stop trying altogether.  With any luck (and a big assist from medical science), I'll be a lot better about all of that this year.  So instead of resolutions, here's what I'd like to see happen for 2012...

First, I'd like to continue my personal winning streak.  All of the things I've started in the latter half of 2011 need to continue throughout this year and beyond.  I also need to kill off whatever voice in my head that keeps asking "Yeah but, aren't you a little too old now?"  No, asshole, I'm not.  I'm 42.  Even if I'm a little over halfway through life, that still leaves plenty of time to get some things done.  There's a reason they call it Middle Age.  I want to keep learning new things.  Musically, artistically, creatively, and whatever else-ively.  I want to finish the songs I'm writing, write some new ones, bring them to a live setting, and maybe even record some of them.  I want to continue developing as a prose writer, and maybe finally tackle some fiction/short story writing.  I want to get back into illustration, possibly take a class, and get one of the tattoos I've designed inked on me.  Or maybe even someone else.  That might be neat.  Unless the tattoo is later used to identify someone on a wanted poster.  That would not be very neat at all.  Maybe I'll just continue designing them for me and not commit any crimes.

I'd also like it if I could keep a lid on my patience for any of these things.  All too often in the past, I'd forget that most people can't just pick up a skill and master it right away.  I'd get frustrated from lack of significant progress, rather than take pride in what I'd learned to do already.  Then I'd put it aside, and sometimes never come back to it.  I don't want to do that anymore.  Positive changes, positive growth, positive attitude.  It pretty much all boils down to that (cue Gorilla Biscuits reference in 3...2...).

A lot of this depends, of course, on my continuing to maintain a grip on my mental health, and all of the issues that go along with that.  So I guess this could be considered a resolution:  I am determined to keep working on that, and do whatever I need to in order to be able to do that.  I've lost a lot of time and opportunities through mental illness.  I'm pledging to myself that this will not happen again.

All the things people usually say about fitness and getting in shape are things I'd like to continue as well.  And smoking, well, it's my only remaining vice (not counting frozen Hershey almond bars).  Hopefully I'll be able to replace that with something better and less diseasey this year.  Plus I think I'm finally going to just go out and get a bike.  I've been wanting one for years.

A more lucrative and satisfying job is in order as well.   I've got a couple of leads, one of which seems very promising.  Same type of job I've been doing for years, but in a much more creative, right-brain type of environment.  Candles have been lit...

So here I come, 2012.  Nothing completely set in stone, but a bunch of things I'm determined to do.  One or two of those things may fall short, but they will not derail the rest of my life.  It is resolved.

Auld Lang Something-or-Other

I spent quite a bit of time in hospitals earlier this year.  Not very happy memories, those, but necessary.  And in their own way, they helped me gain the forward momentum I needed to fight my way out of my dark fog and confront my mental health issues, as well as fulfill the promises I've made to myself and others.  My creative fire is back, I have renewed enthusiasm for the future, and I've gone over seven months without drinking.  And the EMTs were nice enough, so there's that.  I think it's safe to say that life got exponentially better as the year went on.  And as 2011 winds down, I found myself yet again visiting a hospital a couple of times this past weekend, but for an entirely different (and joyous) reason.  More on that as I'm given the go ahead to post about it.

So far, I've still only got the two completed songs, by which I mean lyrics only.  I'll figure out the music soon enough, and then the other half-finished/sort-of-started songs.  And then I can use Garage Band to make them a reality and post them on my Facebook page.  I seem to have all kinds of folks willing to help me find places to play, and the set list has been growing as well.  The few times I've performed have been well received, which serves to reassure me that my decision to go it alone was a good one.  I'm not going for rock star status, just well thought of entertainer status.  Don't get me wrong, if someone wants to offer me some kind of deal, I'd be more than happy to consider it.  But being a middle aged man, I'm fairly well certain that that ship has sailed.

Christmas this year was pretty fantastic.  The people around me, the mood, the fact that I'm actively working on the future, and the terrific news that my daughter became a Doctor Who fan/made Dean's List in her first semester all contributed to Holidays that were indeed happy (and as God is my witness, I'm still not sure which of those two things makes me prouder).  I think everyone did a pretty good job with presents for each other and such, and I was truly blown away by what I received, but honestly, I'd still have been happy if I hadn't gotten anything.  It was just that kind of Christmas this year.

I still get a little overwhelmed by things and freeze up every now and again, but I have people in my life who are willing to help guide me through those times, as well as a roster of professionals to help me better recognize when those times are coming, so that I can arm myself against them.  Jess has been a huge part of that.  I still have days when the fog threatens to take over, and sometimes my brain and my mouth have different agendas, but her support, patience, and love have been immeasurably helpful and healing.  Doesn't hurt that we occasionally share a frontal lobe.

So I'm closing the door on 2011.  For all of its' pitfalls and frustrations and heartache, I feel like I'm happier and more comfortable with myself than I ever have been.  I have a lot of people to thank for that.  If you're reading this, chances are you're one of them.  So thank you, and I'll see you after the ball drops.

A Little Christmas Father/Son Time Hi Tech

My daughter bought me this for Christmas. I am SO itching to drive the cat nuts with it...

My My My...

Turns out my last entry is now the second most popular post on this blog ever.  Like the current reigning champ, I've gotten a lot of feedback about it, both online and privately.  Many folks agreed with my basic point, which has nothing to do with what people should be allowed to say, but instead not freaking out when someone says something intended to wish you well.  Some disagreed with me and were very thoughtful and respectful.  And some completely ignored my central premise and decided to snark it up and be nasty.  To the first group, I say thank you for your support.  To the second, thanks for the opportunity to exchange ideas, and I wish you a very Merry Christmas.  To the last...well, you can just blow it out your ass.  I'm not going to bother arguing with someone who'd rather lambaste me for what they want me to have said, than discuss what I actually wrote.  If you're that bothered by nothing more than what I have to say, you are welcome to stop reading.  Keep looking for sinister motives in everything people do and say.  I'm sure you'll find them.

Surprise Cat Blog!

Just 'cause I feel like it...

Not...Sure...If...Serious...

So Saturday went well, or so it seemed.  I did four songs, with Jess handling the guitar part for two, and my friend (and former Gobshite mandolin player) Nason playing on the other two.  I made a last minute decision that I just wasn't confident in my own playing to subject a room full of friends and strangers to it.  I'll get there.  I've already gotten interest from a couple different clubs and booking agents, so I'm working on adding more to the set, and also toiling feverishly to improve my mandolin playing to virtuoso level.  Or at least convincing myself that, really, my playing is fine, and I should just shut up and do it.

On to today's notion.  And my apologies up front, but this one may, in fact, be considered a rant by some...

I'll be the first to admit that I can sometimes get sidetracked by a minor detail or offense, when I should be focusing on the big picture.  I recognize it a lot more these days, but it can still happen.  That's why I'm glad to have people in my life who are willing to snap me out of whatever nonsensical obsession I'm engaged in at the time.  And just as important, I'm more willing these days to listen to reason and see the forest again.

I don't know why apparently no one at Fox News has that type of person in their lives.  Someone to stop them and tell them "Hey, it's really not that big a deal,"  or "You know, it's going to be okay, we'll get through this."  Or maybe even "HAPPY HOLIDAYS AND MERRY CHRISTMAS MEAN ESSENTIALLY THE SAME GODDAMN THING, JACKASS!!!"

Holy hell, can we maybe dial it down a bit with the "War on Christmas" nonsense?  Nobody, NOBODY, is trying to kill Christianity by saying "Happy Holidays."  This is a completely manufactured scandal, designed by people who never pass up an opportunity to be offended by something.  I can't imagine what childhood trauma would make presumably educated adults rage over how to properly wish someone glad tidings.  Who has that kind of energy?

For the record, if you happen to come across my path, you can say either phrase, as well as "Happy Hanukkah," "Joyous Saturnalia," or even "Merry Kwanzaa" to me, and I promise I will not bite your head off for it.  My most likely reaction will be "Thanks, you too!"  I just have too many other things to worry about besides a two word phrase meant to be good wishes from someone.  And for that matter, the people at Fox probably do as well.  I'm guessing this is just their way of not dealing with those other things.

So, to sum up: Regarding "Merry Christmas," "Happy Holidays," or any other iteration thereof, it really is no big deal.  Calm down, have some nogg, eat a sugar cookie, and say "Thank you" to someone who's attempting to be friendly.  If your biggest problem in life is whatever it is the kid at the CVS register says to you as he bags your shampoo and can of Pringle's, maybe it's time to reevaluate exactly why this time of year is important to you.

Oh, and my Amazon wish list has been updated.  Just throwing that out there...

Well...Um...Hmmmm...

This is one of those times when I definitely want to post something, if for no other reason than to stay productive and keep exercising those muscles, but I can't narrow my topic down.  The vast majority of what I've written about in this space this year has been personal.  But there's really nothing much to update.  I moved, check.  Brought the cat with me, check.  Doing my own thing musically, check.  Need a bigger paycheck, check.  It's pretty much the same as it's been lately.  One or two things have disappointed me recently, but you know, that's what karma's for.  I haven't written much about any current events.  I think there are plenty of places where people much smarter than I am can give insight into the state of things today.

Remember a couple years ago, when those survey things were all the rage on Myspace and Facebook and in the blogs?  I did a bunch of those, even though I was most definitely not the target audience for them.  But at least they were a kind of writing exercise.  My answers tended towards the snarky and sarcastic, which was due mostly to the fact that I was still trying to write for my standup act, and I wanted to practice writing good, short jokes.  I'd do another one, but the way text slang changes day by day, I don't know that I'd even be answering the question I think I'm answering.  I only just found out that FTW also means "For The Win."

I guess everything I do, though, unless it's specifically for publication, could be considered a writing exercise.  So maybe I really shouldn't be too concerned with my topic or whether it's weighty enough.  That's just my bastard of an internal editor (Let's call him "Smedley"), trying to stifle me.  I think my problem is that some of my posts this year have really resonated with some folks, and so now I'm trying to live up to that every time, like a bar that I've set for myself.  Well even the best hitters in baseball only succeed about four out of ten times, so what am I doing pressuring myself like that?

Eh, whatever.  It's more or less natural for self-doubt to creep in, even when doing our best to strangle it, right?  Even as upbeat as I've been about my creative pursuits lately, I still feel sometimes like I'm going to make a fool of myself the next time I'm on stage or something.  Luckily, I'm no longer taking in any fool-juice, so hopefully that improves my odds somewhat...

Speaking of the next time, I am again going to plug my appearance at Leitrim's in Worcester this Saturday.  I'm not sure exactly what time I'm going on, I'm guessing somewhere around 10ish.  Still toying with my set list, but I would say it'll be equal parts traditional Irish and punk covers.  And maybe a special guest or two will hop up and join me for a couple of songs.  I've also been invited to pick a Thursday night to go down to Beatnik's Bar in Worcester and do some pickin' and grinnin'.  More on that as it develops.

Insert pithy closing line here...

Geekery and Getting Used to It

First off, Movember is now over. I want to thank those who made their generous contributions to my page this past month. I'm not sure if you can still donate, but as far as I can tell, the link still works. If you can, please do. And I guess enough folks like the 'stache I grew for me to decide to keep it, for at least a little bit. I think it looks okay. I may re-introduce the chin component for an actual Van Dyke, but I want to mull it over a little before I decide.

And so a new chapter begins. I find myself much calmer right now, as I turned in the keys on Sunday and got the last of my things out of the apartment. I'm a bit melancholy to leave the area, but it's not like it's a three day drive if we want to head back down to visit some time. And who knows, we may end up settling there eventually. There are still one or two matters to deal with to finalize everything, and that might get a little dicey. But for the most part, it's done. With three days to spare.

I know it's not that huge a move, but it does feel a little odd to be a resident of Central Massachusetts, after spending my entire life in the Boston area and suburbs. I don't think I've ever been so landlocked. For someone who likes being near the ocean so much, to be heading in the opposite direction does strike me as funny. Maybe it's only funny to me, but there it is. I don't know why that is, though. I'm still relatively equidistant from Boston and Providence, although a little further away from both than I was before. I still work in the Boston area. I really can't put my finger on it, but there's definitely the feeling that I've crossed some kind of threshold. I'm not saying that as if it's a bad thing. It just feels...different.

I did get a surprise this weekend, however. Jess and I went to a local author's day at the Worcester version of Annie's Book Stop (I don't know if it's only in Massachusetts or not, but if you don't know, it's a chain of franchised-owned used book stores.). One of the local authors just happens to be our roommate, and I will now throw in a plug for her book, An Ever-Fixéd Mark by Jessie Olson. You can buy copies at local book stores, or directly from her. It's about vampires, and doesn't have Robert Pattinson, so you know it's good. Kids, get permission from Mom and Dad first. This ain't no Twilight, fo' sho'.

So while there to support our friend, I discovered that this particular Annie's is owned by a couple who may possibly be even bigger Doctor Who fans than I am. The didn't just have the current series of books. They had the New Adventures series (which followed the end of the original show and features the 7th and 8th Doctors), plus all the old Missing Adventures novels. They also had an immense selection of the Big Finish audio plays. I've never seen those in any store, EVER. I have a few, and I had to get those online. This place had shelf after shelf of the Doctor Who plays, as well as all the audio spinoffs, and a separate area for used copies.

I don't think I've geeked out that hard in decades.

So that was definitely a good omen for my move, I think. And I'll throw in another plug here for my solo show on the 10th of this month at Leitrim's Pub in Worcester. I'll be doing a set between sets of the band PS Rock, fronted by my buddy James Power. Expect fun, and at least three instances of fumble fingers during the night.

They keep calling Tedeschi's "Country Farms" out here. Is that weird?

Black Friday Moving/Music Blog

My alarm went off this morning, and was answered by a round of cursing which could only be described as encyclopedic.  I'm not particularly a morning person anyway, never mind the morning after I've consumed a staggering amount of tryptophan.  I count myself lucky, though, because with all that's going on in this economy, I have a job that requires I work the day after Thanksgiving.  And it doesn't hurt that I'm also not at the mall being shot or pepper sprayed by idiots who are willing to injure others in order to get half off an Xbox.  It's a goddamn TOY, stupid.  Get some perspective.

This weekend sees the completion of my (and Finn's) move to the Woo.  Most everything has been packed up in boxes.  we're getting a moving truck to get everything we can out tomorrow, and then getting the last of it and cleaning up on Sunday.  Considering the difficulty I've had with the landlord (oh yeah, he never did fix the toilet, garbage disposal, front door, porch light, or leak in the roof), I'm not holding my breath to get the security deposit back.  Which doesn't mean I'm not got going to try and collect it.  I think he knows by now that I'm fairly well versed on the laws in this regard.

But that's not what I'm concentrating on.  I'm focused on the move, settling in, and keeping things rolling in the right direction.  I've been offered a short solo set in December (details to follow), and I'm adding more songs to my repertoire.  I'm definitely being influenced by guys like Frank Turner and Chuck Ragan, not to mention Billy Bragg.  My song choices most certainly veer towards classic punk and alternative.  I know that's not necessarily groundbreaking, but I've never claimed to be any kind of pioneer.  I like what I like.

And today, for those of you keeping score at home, is day 180 without a drink.  Six months.  This calls for a song.



Happy weekend...

The Left Bank of Central Massachusetts

I forgot to mention the other day that, after reading up on the rules for Movember (15 days left!  Save the Nuggets (TM)!), I had to modify my entry, because a Van Dyke doesn't count.  It has to be a mustache.  So what I did was eliminate the hair directly under my bottom lip to create what I like to call the "Lemmy" look.  Of course, my daughter was able to bring me back to Earth by telling me I look like Hulk Hogan.  Thanks kid.  Oh, and by the way, you're gonna be a commuter next semester.  Not so funny now, are ya?

I was at my therapy appointment last night, talking about my upcoming move to Worcester, extolling the virtues of the burgeoning arts scene there, when the realization struck me: I'm actually getting very enthusiastic about this.  Not that I wasn't looking forward to living with Jess already, not to mention how grateful I am to her and her roommate for even offering me this option.  But in the last few months, I've gotten to know some of the more active participants and organizers in the area, and it seems like people are just bursting with enthusiasm about how they can get everyone together and really make a combined effort to promote arts, music, theatre, and local writers.  Given my rekindled interest in nearly all of these things, it's like a perfect storm of opportunity for me to really dive in and make it happen.

Sunday's event would never have happened for me if I weren't in a relationship with Jess, so I feel like I have something of a head start.  I also have experience and, if I do say so, a modicum of talent.  So Jess helps get my foot in the door, and then it's up to me to get the rest of me over the threshold.  It doesn't hurt that she's been a very enthusiastic champion of mine from pretty much day one (Thanks, beh-beh!).

Long term, I think we're both still planning on ultimately settling back in North Attleboro Center (but not the same house, natch), but Worcester really is going through a kind of arts and culture renaissance right now, and it's not a little exciting to think that we'll be a part of it.

I know I've mentioned the title "Whisky Witch" when referring to Jess, and I did happen to note that she was pouring at the event on Sunday.  But I really should throw a plug in here for her services.  If you're someone who wants to learn about whisky in its various forms and styles, or even if you're someone who's an old hand and wants to find something new, you really need to get in touch with her.  She is to whisky what Wine Spectator is to wine.  I'm not even exaggerating.  I've seen more than one person who firmly stated that they didn't like whisky walk away with a new drink of choice.  She's that damn good.  And she has a blog that is in desperate need of updating (because she's also a very good writer), so I'm going to link it here in order to light a fire under her butt about it.

Don't worry, I haven't fallen off the waggon (180 days as of a week from this Friday.  That's six months for those of you who don't believe in long division.), and she actually doesn't drink all that much, either.  She's a connoisseur who does her research well and responsibly.  Look her up, she will teach you something new.

And with that, I say good day, sir...