Come Sleep, O Sleep!

Come, Sleep! O Sleep, the certain knot of peace,

The baiting-place of wit, the balm of woe,

The poor man's wealth, the prisoner's release,

Th' indifferent judge between the high and low;

With shield of proof shield me from out the press

Of those fierce darts Despair at me doth throw!

O make in me those civil wars to cease!—

I will good tribute pay if thou do so.

Take thou of me smooth pillows, sweetest bed,

A chamber deaf of noise and blind of light,

A rosy garland, and a weary head;

And if these things, as being thine in right,

Move not thy heavy grace, thou shalt in me,

Livelier than elsewhere, Stella's image see.

-Sir Philip Sidney (1554-1586)

I'm not sleeping enough.  I try to get at least six hours a night, but that's not always possible.  I gave up on eight hours years ago.  I've tried Tylenol PM a couple times this week, and it works.  But one:  I don't want to have to depend on that.  And two: I end up still tired in the morning.  As I type this, I feel drowsy, and I've been awake for three and a half hours.  I've showered, shaved, dressed, made my lunch, eaten breakfast, driven to work.  And now I feel like finding three conference room chairs to line up so I can take a nap.  I hope I can snap out of this, get a second wind or something.  I've got my gym bag with me, ready to go for after work.  The last thing I want to do is doze off in the middle of an ab crunch.  I'm wondering if I need to add Melatonin to my daily regimen of vitamins and supplements.

One of the things my weight loss surgery resolved was my sleep apnea.  That's actually what set the whole gastric bypass thing in motion in the first place.  I knew I snored a bit, but when I was told by someone that they could actually hear me stop breathing in my sleep, I had to do something.  So I went in for a sleep study.  Honestly, I have no idea how they can get a decent read on your sleeping habits, because they put you on a gurney (not even a hospital bed, a gurney), with monitors attached, and then they wake you every hour or so to try a different position or mask.  Not exactly ideal conditions, if you ask me.  But I'm not a doctor.

The first part of the night was without any mask or other breathing aide.  They told me later that in one hour, I woke up 30 times.  30 times.  That basically means that about every two minutes, I'd stop breathing and choke myself awake.  No wonder I was a zombie during the day.  Then they tried a C-PAP machine.  This basically forces air into your lungs through your nose, so you can't help but breathe.  Well, you can't help but breathe in, anyway.  The C stands for continuous.  I had a very hard time with this one, so they tried a Bi-PAP, which alternates the flow of air as you breathe in and out.  This one worked a lot better, so it was determined I should start using one at home.

Aside from the occasional teasing that I looked like a test pilot and sounded like Darth Vader in bed, I did pretty well with this.  I eventually got used to having a big mask over my nose, attached to a tube, all wrapped around my head, and until a few months after my surgery, it helped me get the sleep I'd been missing all those years.  Since the sleep apnea was related directly to my weight, I no longer needed the mask after I'd lost a significant amount, and I could sleep on my own.

Having gained some of the weight back, I think the apnea has started to creep back in.  I didn't go back on the mask, though, but I've lost most of the weight that I gained back (still holding at 194), so hopefully that'll resolve itself again.

Untill then, I've got the sheep on standby...