Monday, January 31, 2011

Hey, I Almost Forgot Where I Put This...

Yup, it's been quite some time. Say what you will about me, but I sure don't screw around when it comes to dry spells.

I've written briefly in this space about dealing with depression and ADHD. I was only diagnosed about four years ago, and haven't been taking meds for a little while (something that started due to a loss of job and insurance, and then continued because, well, I have depression and ADHD, and when you're not treating it, it's hard to motivate yourself to go out and get treatment for it. A vicious circle, to be sure.). All of this going on whilst leaving standup behind for a while and concentrating more on playing with an Irish punk rock band, starting a new relationship, dealing with a new job and some big events in my daughter's life, and even though my gastric bypass surgery worked wonders for my weight and some health issues, the truth is I haven't done as good a job of taking care of myself (READ: Doing my part to make sure the surgery sticks) as I know I need to. And all of this has come to a head recently, and given me a very hard wakeup call.

So what to do? First, I started going to the gym again. There's one right here in the building at work, and it's free. So that's three times a week. Also, cutting back on and/or eliminating altogether some unhealthy habits (not easy to do when playing loud, rebelious music in bars a couple nights a week, but I'm definitely working on it), making an appointment to go back on the meds that I didn't realize at the time were helping to save me from the dark recesses of my mind, and coming back to this, my old blog. Writing has been an on-again, off-again thing for me my whole life. I always love doing it, and I'm told I'm not half bad at it. So what's stopping me from doing it again? The truth is, only me. I realize that mental health issues tend to contribute to a general ennui that I have developed over the years, but letting myself fall back on that as an excuse really isn't an option. I made a promise to do better and pull my act together, and come hell or high water, I'm sticking to it.

So that's it right now. I'll be here more often, I promise, keeping up to date on my progress, and even any setbacks. I'm getting better, and I will get better still.

Don't give up on me now, I'm just starting my comeback.