Things are now steaming right along with the wedding plans, now that we've found a venue. We're getting the guest list together, planning out the centerpieces, and everything else that goes along with it. This is going to be a DIY wedding and we're hitting up yard sales and thrift stores like crazy to get stuff we can re-purpose and up-cycle into decorations and other things. If what we're planning becomes reality, this is going to be some party. And due to popular demand (okay, a bunch of my cousins made sad puppy eyes when we balked), we're making it costume optional. We were iffy about it, but finally said yes. I'm confident we made the right decision.
I passed my one year anniversary with very little fanfare, which is just fine. Don't get me wrong, I'm proud of it, and it is a milestone. But it's also just become how I live. I don't even think about it much unless I'm around other people drinking, and even then I'm not wishing I was. Hell, I've even participated in a few discussions about favorite beers and whatnot, without suddenly frothing at the mouth and heading to the local for a 12 pack.
What I haven't been doing since I moved is going to meetings. Part of that is just the normal cycle of me getting distracted from a routine. But part of it was my own conscious decision to go a different way with this. Well not so much different, but I feel like I've gotten what I needed from the meetings, and now I'll take it from here. That's not a comment on anyone who does feel the need to continue, it's just the path that works for me. I know folks who done it both ways and succeeded. And if I feel like it's not working, at least I know I can go back.
So, in the last few weeks, I've had a couple of days that just completely got away from me. Try as I might, I just couldn't get out of my own head. There was no particular reason for it, and I was at least able to recognize what was going on. But that didn't stop it from happening anyway. It kind of caught me off guard, which never used to happen. Used to be, I wouldn't even notice it because it was just a familiar feeling. The melancholy and ennui had a way of just becoming, and I'd simply let it happen with only a slight desire to snap out of it.
Those kinds of days really make me appreciate how far I've come in my ability (not to mention desire) to avoid letting my mental health issues consume me. They also remind me how important it is that I stay vigilant and on top of it. And Jess has been amazing throughout. She doesn't hesitate to confront me about it and make sure I'm not drifting off. She's constantly telling me that I keep her grounded. Well she's keeping me above ground and out of the black holes. It's no wonder I'm marrying this lady.
And on a lighter note, Spitshiner now has a Facebook page. Check it out and get on the bandwagon now. There really does seem to be somewhat of a buzz around this band, and the few shows we've had have been really fun. We've got another one coming up this Sunday at the Midway Cafe in Jamaica Plain, which is all-ages and free (and will also have BBQ food!). Also performing is Riki Rocksteady and the Arraignments, Matt Charette, and Max Jeffers. Hopefully we'll have a few more shows this Summer, then we're planning on having a four or five song CD available when we play the Boston Tattoo Convention over Labor Day Weekend.
I'll leave you with a sample of some of our music, recorded at Union in Allston. It's me, Jenna, and Josh performing one of his originals, "Heathens and Harlots."
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