Why I Don't Make Fun of Store Clerks in My Act

Because they have to deal with shit like this. I've worked in customer service many times, both on the phone and behind the counter, and lemme tell you, this country is getting worse and worse in how we treat each other. As much as Republicans hate to admit it, welfare moms aren't the only people with a sense of entitlement. No, I'm not saying that these women are the fault of the Republican party, but more often than not, the people I had the worst time with were conservatives with money who loved to make sure I knew my place in the world. If there were any justice, these two idiots would be forced to wear shirts that read "I am a spoiled brat" for the next five years.

News Flash: Television Still Sucks

Read this. I have a suggestion for Bill Maher's "New Rules": Everyone doesn't deserve to be famous. Seriously, if you've been convicted of fraud, or any other kind of felony, you shouldn't be able to get a TV show out of it. What ever happened to the concept of shunning? Why are we celebrating assholes and idiots, and then completely taken aback when our kids emulate them? Never mind that "Reality" TV is turning this country dumber by the day. I have it on good authority that you can actually hear the intelligence leaking out of your ears when you watch Paris Hilton on TV.

The Good News Is, You're Not Alone

Let me just make this one point: If you believe and trust a single word that Michael Savage says, you are a complete moron. Same goes for Ann Coulter, Sean Hannity, and Rush Limbaugh. Seriously, you're frigging stupid if you think those people have any reasonable grip on reality. They are nothing more than verbal pitbulls.

So listen to them and cheer them all you want, just bear in mind, you're an idiot. And if that makes you happy, more power to you, but just so you understand, you're a douchebag. Selah.

(yes yes, I know what the title of this 'blog is; it's called irony)

Must See TV

I'll be watching the debate tonight, even though there's so many rules about who can say what, when they can say it, who they can say it to, and where they have to stand while saying it, that it'll probably be pretty boring. Be interesting to see if the Bush smirk makes an appearance.

Big Brother Gets Bitch-Slapped

I really hope this is a sign that we're not heading further and further into a police state. But the amount of people who think it's perfectly fine for the government to monitor nearly everything you do scares the crap out of me.

Almost As Fun As Mad Libs

Mr. Sun has a "Create your own Bush stump speech" over at his site. Now you too can smirk away over 1,000 American lives.

(thanks to Wonkette for the link)

Wonkette

Here's a fun new game just in time for the election. BTW, is it wrong to have sex dreams about a woman you've only ever seen in one picture?

Impressive

I think the most amazing thing about this story is not that Bush's hometown paper is endorsing Kerry. It's that anyone in Texas knows what "Iconoclast" means.

Best Campaign Ad EVER

Little Zachary Maxwell's got a message only the President of the United States could understand. Of course, he might need a few sips of "pretzel," but I'm sure he could find a bottle or two around somewhere.

Another Reason to Not Move to Those States...

The Supreme Court is about to rule on whether your city or town can legally claim your property in order to build a hotel or shopping mall. Okay, I know what Eminent Domain is, and I know it's in the Constitution, but seriously, what the fuh...? In the 50's, hundreds of Bostonians were forced out of homes and businesses in order to make way for the Central Artery that was recently torn down to make way for the Big Dig. And of course, the West End of Boston (birthplace of Leonard Nimoy) basically no longer exists because of real estate developers. I just can't believe people are still having to go through this kind of crap after working hard and saving up to be able to afford their own homes. If I'm not mistaken, Eminent Domain is supposed to be a last resort kind of thing, not just a way to reward rich developers that give you campaign money. If anyone knows of a petition or some kind of legal fund being set up for these folks in New London, please post it here. The home you save may be your own.

Is It Just Me?

Do me a favor. Watch the video from yesterday's Meet the Press interview with Gen. John Abizaid. Does anyone else notice that his eyes keep shifting back and forth like he's reading off a cue card? I've seen enough locally produced "I'll be the star of my own commercials" spots to notice, and it sure seems like it to me. And I swear to God, I haven't been listening to that much shortwave radio recently.

Okay, Here's Something

Time has a mini interview with Jon Stewart, who is fast becoming one of the best political comics in the country. If there were any fairness in this world, he'd be taking over for Craig Kilborn on CBS. But of course their knuckles are still stinging from the whole Boob-gate thing, not to mention the fake memos, so I doubt it's in the cards.

UPDATE: Apparently, they've decided to put the article in their "Subscribers Only" section, so now you gotta pay to see it. Sorry about that. Trust me, it was a good article.

Friday...

Light day today, mostly because I'd just like to take a personal mental break from all the crap out there. Sometimes I wish I was one of those folks who just believed everything I was told. That would make life so much easier. Nope, this weekend I'm just going to concentrate on Red Sox vs. Yankees, my kid, and the All-Ireland Finals. Oh, and prolly Man. United vs. Spurs tomorrow morning.

There's some good stuff out there today though, from Bob Somerby, Eric Alterman (who's pretty cranky), and Kevin Drum. Also, scroll down Alterman's page for Charles Pierce's latest. This guy should have his own magazine.

Your Tax Dollars At Work: PROVE YOU DON'T HATE AMERICA!!!!!!!!!!!! Edition

This is just asinine. Doesn't it take a Constitutional Amendment to change the powers of one third of the government? I think someone should introduce a bill that would allow police officers to stop people radomly in the street and make them recite the pledge. I also think Todd Akin needs to find whatever evil little demon is inhabiting his mind and stab it with an icepick.

On The Other Hand, I Could Use the $4K

So the Bush campaign and their allies are so desperate to get him re-elected that they're willing to pay people to get endorsements for him and his disastrous Medicare plan. I especially liked this part: "We have help available to write letters if the signer is not comfortable drafting the letter entirely on their own.” Right, just like the Swiftboat Vets were coached on what words to use in their attack ads. Why why why why why are people still supporting these assholes? It can't just be spite against the Democrats, can it? Because if so, it REALLY WILL come back and bite you all in the ass.

Tonight...

I'm closing out the show at the Brewery Exchange in Lowell, Mass. Show starts at 8pm, and also includes Robby Roadsteamer, Andy O'Fish, and at least one of the fabulous Walsh Brothers. In honor of performing in the birthplace of Kerouac, I plan to mumble my way through the entire show in a belligerent drunken stupor, and then ask my gay poet best friend to blow me for $15.

Any Wonder He Lost To A Dead Guy?

If Ashcroft were a ballplayer, he'd have been shipped off to AA a long time ago. As far as the War on Terror is concerned, he batting a big fat ZERO.

Oh, and let's not forget that he lost his last election TO A DEAD GUY.

Comic Books are Cool

At least this one is. And it's even footnoted. For my money, the only place you're going to get the full story is in the indy media. The networks, cable news, newspapers, etc., are all basically parroting whatever the latest talking points are these days, and the independent media, though not always accurate (and in some cases wildly inaccurate), are still the most reliable sources for the truth behind the headlines.

(Thanks to Eric Alterman for the link)

SO Happy I Moved Into the City

Wow, $15 Billion, and they couldn't kick in a little extra for drainage? Where the hell is that Dutch kid* when you need him?











*It's a finger-in-the-dyke-reference. Do I have to explain EVERYTHING to you people?!?

Another Pooch Takes One in the Ass

Okay, it's looking more and more like CBS f'd this one up pretty bad, especially when you consider that it wasn't necessary to forge any documents, because simply talking to the people who worked with him will tell you that Lt. Col. Killian agreed with the sentiments in those memos, whether those particular memos are genuine or not. Why are journalists these day so unwilling to go into more depth? It seems like they (and most of the public) just parrot the most recent lie and move on. It's like they're totally unfamiliar with the concept of depth, or even follow-up questions. Thanks, CBS, for making this about two pieces of paper now, instead of about whether the man in the Oval Office coasted through life on his father's coattails.

(Not) Glad to See You Go Go Go Go Goodbye...

Johnny Ramone joins Joey and Dee Dee in Punk Rock immortality.

Don't Believe The Non-Hype

There seem to be a lot of people out in the Blogosphere complaining that John Kerry isn't going after Bush hard enough. I don't know about that. Read this transcript from the Kerry website. I think he comes down pretty hard on the President. Of course, I'd like to see him really drop the hammer, but there is some truth to the assertion that a certain amount of decorum should be observed, whether the frothing right-wingers in talk radio land want to believe it or not.

(Thanks to Atrios for the link)

Last Minute Gig Plug

Just got asked to feature (that means I'll be doing the longish set in the middle) this weekend at the Bitter Man at the Red Lion Inn in Cohasset. Show starts at 9pm on Saturday, with Bob Lazarus and Mary Beth Cowan.

*Sigh* Now We have One Less Distraction at Work

Wonkette mourns the death of the Sloganator. With lots of fun examples.

Required Reading

I like Tom Tomorrow's 'blog for many reasons, not the least of which is Bob Harris' guest-blogging entries.

It's Not Just Happening to Muslims

So you say the Patriot Act isn't leading to government abusing it's authority? Tell that to Ciaran Ferry's family.

Liberal Media Bias, Mm Hmmm...

Just saw a teaser for Channel 7, the NBC affiliate here in Boston. They were promoting a news story about Kitty Kelley's new book about the President, and gave the line "Guess where the author claims the President used cocaine [emphasis mine]." Now, there have been a few stories about this book in the last couple weeks or so, mostly about Bush's sister-in-law claiming she never said she saw him use coke at Camp David, and Kelley saying that, well, yes she did say that because someone else was at the interview and confirms her statement. So how does 7 News make the statement that Kelley is making the claim, when it clearly comes from people who say they were there at the time? I don't even know if the story is true, but at least one so-called "Liberal Media" source is framing the story as one person making claims about the President's past. Nice work, Liberal media!

I Think It Just Means He LIKES HER Likes Her

Republicans resort to kindergarten tactics. If this doesn't work, they're going to escalate to swirlies and nipple-twisters.

Hmmmmmm...

I seem to be using the word shit a lot. Must be my new breakfast cereal.

Lions Vs. Christians Can't Be Far Behind

Or I have a better idea, let's just beat the shit out of people on live tv, and give them Dunkin' Donuts gift certificates if they live.

Read this.

Sniveling, Craven, Shameless Exploiters of Death

Dick Cheney will use anything he can to try and scare the shit out of you into voting for his boss. Good Lord, I hope he eats crow in two months.

News Flash: Zell Miller is a Damn Liar

There are plenty of other arguments and websites that point this out too, but for my money, one of the best debunking websites is Snopes. Here is their take on the whole "John Kerry voted against every weapons system since the slingshot" nonsense.

Throwing This Out There

Does anyone know how to get a not-quite-one-year-old Husky dog to stop chewing the shit out of every goddamn thing in my apartment (aside from getting rid of him because he's not actually my dog)? Also, anyone in the Greater Dorchester, MA area know how to splice phone wires together?

Show This Clip to Everyone You Know

This is the kind of person the Republican Party considers to be the next generation.

The Whole World is No Longer Watching...

...because I haven't seen anything remotely like this on the news. Liberal media, my ass.

Start Asking Questions

Nick Confessore over at TAP Online ends this post with "Beware any sentence beginning 'John Kerry says...'". I think it's time to do more than just beware. I think it's time to start demanding people who start those sentences that way to put up or shut up. I know it'll never happen, but just once I'd like to see Wolf Blitzer or Judy Woodruff or George Stephanopolis ask someone: "Exactly when and where did John Kerry say this?" But none of them ever do. When people from the right goes on the air with outrageous accusations, out-of-context or just plain phony quotes, and they go unchallenged by the mainstream media, they might as well be reporting them as factual stories. I say it's time to make these people tell the truth and back up their bullshit.

Yep...

Tom Tomorrow pretty much nails it.

Swiftboat Forgers

According to this story, at least one of the men SBVFT claims as a supporter never gave his permission to use his name. I wonder if someone will be going through all the other names, making phone calls and verifying whether all this support (I believe O'Neill said something on Bill Maher's show to the effect of Kerry had a picnic table, whereas they had a campsite) actually exists? I wonder if there's any kind of legal punsihment for a 527 group that forges people's names to their official releases?

Ooohhh...

...you meant that kind of honor and integrity. Seriously, how can anyone get behind this kind of crap?