The accumulation of musical instruments continues. Jess gave me an acoustic mandolin for my birthday, which I've already managed to tune (thanks to a free iPhone app), and a beginners book and CD, along with a book of mandolin chords, AND a beginning harmonica method book. Also season one of Doctor Who, which I used to have, but went missing somewhere along the line (In a four room apartment, no less. Ugh). My daughter found a ceramic TARDIS mug at Newbury Comics (and continues her tradition of very funny cards), and my folks surprised (nay, SHOCKED) me with a MacBook Pro. Add to that all of the folks who sent their well wishes, privately as well as on Facebook, and a four-show weekend for the Gobshites (including an afternoon show/birthday party yesterday in Plymouth), and it all added up to a pretty great birthday weekend. Thanks to all who helped make it possible, especially Jess and my family, who really went all out for me.
Someone mentioned to me at the show yesterday that they've been reading this blog, and it inspired them to make some decisions about facing their own issues in life. I've been told this more than once, and it's extremely gratifying to hear, although slightly daunting. Obviously, this is a public web page, and so I expect that people are going to read it. Some I know personally, some of whom I've never met or heard of. When I first started this a few years ago, it was really more a forum for me to expand on some of the things that I talked about in my standup act without having come up with a punchline every 12.6 seconds. It was also for me to tell stories about what it was like to be a working, touring comic, warts and all. I let it wither on the vine for awhile, unfortunately, but I always intended to come back and keep it going. As with everything else, my mental health issues had other plans, and only when I was ready to start dealing with them did I decide to use this forum.
I'm not really sure why I decided to be quite so open about things, as I'm usually very private and I don't tend to let people in on what's going on in my head. Certain people have had access to that over the years, including significant others and some family members, although even then I had a tendency to hold back. But I generally have trouble letting folks in on what I'm thinking or feeling. They can usually gauge that by my body language or the look on my face, but going in depth is a rarity. Until now. Even still, I'm a lot more open in this space than I am face-to-face. I think maybe that's a big reason why I eventually stopped doing standup. Now that I look back on my old material, I realize that I would talk about personal things, but only to an extent. I could never get to that completely honest and open place where, I believe, the best comedy is born (SEE: Richard Pryor, George Carlin, Bill Hicks, Louis CK, Patton Oswalt).
Now that I'm starting to strip away that veil, I'm starting to get the notion that it might be time to give it another shot. This is hardly a revelation, I've mentioned my affinity and lingering yearn to get back on stage several times here. But this time, I think I'm really ready to do what I feel I need to in order to actually craft an act, and not just write a string of jokes. Mind you, I don't expect a brilliant, insightful, daring act to just pour out of my head and turn me into some kind of comedy icon. I don't even plan to try and make a living at it anymore. I just want to know, for my own sake, that what I always envisioned myself doing on stage can actually be reality.
And I want to learn the mandolin. And the banjo. And the harmonica. And if someone could find a full size set of Dr. Who sheets for my bed, that would be awesome. kthxbye...
P.S. - If you don't know who Michael O'Donoghue is, click the title of this post.
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