Friday, August 05, 2011

Somewhere, Beyond the Sea...Or At Least Close to It

I've spent a lot of time in Salem lately.  More than I have in years.  I think the last time I was there it was for a radio promotion for WCGY.  17 years ago.  Now that my daughter will be moving there in less than a month, I definitely want to get to know the place better.  I like old port cities like Salem and Portsmouth because they have a distinct character.  I'm not particularly nautical, but cities like that tend to appeal to artistic types for some reason.  And Salem, of course, has all the witchcraft lore and pirate history to go with it too, which I find fascinating.

Like I said last week, the issue of spirituality has been looming in my thoughts, mostly spurred by my recovery.  Again, I'm not an atheist, I just don't know what's out there.  I'm not interested in being saved by anyone or shown the true light or anything like that.  I'm trying to find my own path.  And I definitely feel a connection with places like Salem.  Is it being close to the water, and all that symbolizes?  I don't know.  Like I said, I'm not a boater, and I haven't been to a beach-other than to watch a fireworks show or just to walk out on the jetty-in years.  I like the smell of chlorine when I'm swimming.

But water definitely evokes the idea of life, cleansing, and renewal.  At least for me it does.  And being near the water just feels right to me.  I don't live near the water right now, which is okay, because I think if I did, it wouldn't have the same meaning to me.  It wouldn't have the same power to make me feel the way I do when I have to travel to it in order to spend time there.  It's easy enough for me to get to, which is good, and probably the main reason I don't live anywhere that's landlocked.

Maybe I'll move closer when I retire.  By that time, I could probably use some renewal.  Hell, I could use it right now.  This hasn't been the best week for me in a few ways.  No, I haven't had a drink, and I haven't really felt the desire to (well, if I'm being honest, I can't say I haven't at least thought about it).  But the beginning of every month seems to bring with it a host of anxieties and worries.  I have a few leads on improving my financial situation, which hopefully don't all turn into mirages.  And as always, I have my incredible support network.  And I realize life isn't always-or even ever-supposed to be easy.  I just wish it weren't this hard seemingly all the time.

Mostly inactive week for the Gobshites.  We're playing a house party tomorrow night, and I'll be joining in a seissun at the same house during the day (and possibly playing the mandolin in public for the first time).  Next weekend, we're at one of our favorite places to play, the British Beer Company in Cedarville, Mass.

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